Realization

Little by little it dawned on her that she wasn't going to have a good life when everything was said and done. The fact that she could reflect upon the paths she had chosen and not come up with a single happy memory was reason for panic in her eyes, and she decided that something ought to be done about it, lest she become so miserable that she drop off the face of the planet without a sound or a trace. That was truly the worst thing in the world, she figured, to disappear as soon as you die.